If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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