Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
