She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
