Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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