First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I didn't notice because vodka
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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