But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
