Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
you made out with another girl for some wings
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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