i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
