when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Come share oat with me in your robe
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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