Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
