White coat. Heels.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
