your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
