please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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