Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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