i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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