Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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