you have to choose: penises or morals?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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