you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
