its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Found your dick twin last night
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
