remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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