drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize