She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
