obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
