so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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