i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
