who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
