She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
