Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
