i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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