Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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