One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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