new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
now i know why i became what i already was.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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