there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
