he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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