shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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