hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
