Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
