Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
