so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize