I'm lost and stupid without you.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
