Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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