Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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