1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
