just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
