i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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