either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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