I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
