I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
pop tarts are not kleenex
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
