They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
