I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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