You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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