I am full of burrito and curiosity
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
