Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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