P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
