My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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