when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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