This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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