Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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