Duck Duck Cougar?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
