I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
