Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
