It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize