Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
