I will die if light touches me.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
